Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
