We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
