We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
