I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
