What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
