We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
