I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
