as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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