I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
