That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Terrible idea I love it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
