Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
