I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
