maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
