He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
