All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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