White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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