I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
