she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
