Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
