i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
