I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
