My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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