He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
