Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
