If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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