When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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