wrigley field is MILF paradise
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
