What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
