i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
