Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
