dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
