I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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