i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
