His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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