Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
