You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Boobs are out for the taking
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
