dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
