It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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