problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
