I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
