New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
