we have pet lesbian snakes
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
