Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
