Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
