i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
