my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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