oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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