There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
