Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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