I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
